House of Mourning

It’s better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting…
…because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heartSorrow is better than laughter……for when a face is sad a heart may be happy.The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.It’s better to listen to the rebuke of a wise man than for one to listen to the song of fools.For as the crackling of thorn bushes under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool; and this too is futility. 
Ecclesiastes 7:2-6

In what universe is it better to be sad than happy?  How in the world is mourning better than partying and celebrating?  These are the claims made by Solomon above.  He goes on to assert that a wise person is at a funeral while the fool is living it up in Vegas – and finally that it’s better to be rebuked for your sin and/or folly than to hang out singing “praise songs” with spiritual morons. 

When I was in college I attended a funeral of an old friend.  His grandsons had been my best friends, and I knew him as “Paca,” an old carpenter who made me a toy chest and gave me my first bicycle and the father of my church’s preacher.  But attending his funeral made it clear that he had lived a giant life.  His children were missionaries and preachers and college professors.  They had made hundreds of disciples, who had in turn made thousands.  It was the most amazing funeral I’d ever seen.  The next day my Greek teacher (who had also been there) commented to the class and said: “Everyone should attend the funeral of a great man.”  He understood Solomon’s sentiments. 

Life has ups and downs; victories for some, and failures for all.  But whatever life we live, our end is all the same: we die, and when we do, we enter eternity.  If we are wise, we will live like people whose days are numbered. 

This dark world is suffering – and even here in the “wealth” of OC – people suffer horribly the consequences of sin and materialism and foolishness.  Is it wise to party with the rich while the world suffers so? 

Even if we have plenty … there are many who don’t have such basics.  If we are selfish, we can enjoy our luxuries and ignore the suffering of others.  But that’s not very wise, is it? 

Thomas Gray wrote:

To each his sufferings: all are men,

Condemned alike to groan;

The tender for another's pain,

The unfeeling for his own.

Yet ah! Why should they know their fate?

Since sorrow never comes too late,

And happiness too swiftly flies.

Thought would destroy their paradise.

No more; where ignorance is bliss,

'Tis folly to be wise

Those of us who can sympathize with another feel pain for them, and those of us who cannot share another’s sorrow or burdens - must carry our own.  And so … it’s better not to even know what’s happening in the world, because “ignorance is bliss.” 

Go back and read carefully the text at the top of the article.  The Preacher tells why it’s wiser to mourn … because it reveals reality: life sucks, then you die. 

 We have a choice

We can hide our own suffering, avoid it, hide in temporary escapes of drink, drugs, friendships, church, family, etc.  Or – we can overcome.  We can remain ignorant of the suffering of others, or we can shrug it off with a “let them eat cake” response and do nothing.  Or – we can be like most “Christians,” and merely pray for others.  Or – we can be like Jesus, and spend our lives serving others, teaching them, helping them … and do so with urgency, sincerity and effectiveness – the prayer offered with hands instead of mere lip-service.

Everyone will die, including you and your best friends.  Children grow up to die, and if they live to adulthood they’ll suffer some.  God’s servants have work to do: we have been commissioned by God to tend to people who are suffering and struggling. 

Most people travel “the broad path,” as Jesus called it (Matthew 7.13-14) immediately after he said the words we now know as the golden rule.  This wide road is full of silly, partying people living a shallow lifestyle, helpful to few, and they become increasingly weak themselves. 

The narrow path is lonelier and harder, so few take it.  It’s the path of rescuers, of people who live to help others, teach others, serve and love others.  Mother Theresa didn't wear the latest fashions or attend lots of big gala events.  Millions more live like her in the silence of anonymity.  They are like Jesus:

He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but Yahweh has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him.             Isaiah 53:3-6

None of us is perfect, none of us can save ourselves, we will all die, and we’ll all be resurrected – either to life or death.  But we have a choice about how we’ll respond to this reality.  We can ignore it, downplay it, or accept it as a challenge.  We’re all on a sinking ship – will you be the hero among survivors, or will you play with the band while it sinks beneath the waves? 

You can live for yourself, help no one … or only help those you like, or who happen to be in your family … and in the end you’ll die and your life will have been a waste – your laughter will not be remembered. 

Or you can live in service to God for others.  You will also die, but you will have gotten progressively stronger throughout your life.  The sadness you experience as you feel compassion for others will be over-matched by the contentment in your heart as you live selflessly.  And when you die, you will be remembered as the one who saved someone’s soul, who fed them when they were about to die or who consoled them in their time of grief. 

My hope is that you’ll take this to heart and live selflessly in the house of mourning like Jesus and Paca.